FUTUROLOGY IC INBOX

[headlining]

 

username: UNKNOWNREALMS

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[headlining]

["I'M SO SMART" said Keats, stupidly.]

Oh, please. I can look over my own stories, I have that right. Don't you go turning this around on me, now.

Do you even know how to use that thing? I'm trying to remember if you have ears or not.

[ex_mettacrusher33]

First rule of writing, darling: always get a pair of fresh eyes to review your work!! (I mean. Not for me, of course. I'm incredible. But for YOU!)

[Wait, what? He forgot if he...?

The next few sentences are sent immediately, one after the other.]

And it's not for use!! It's for AESTHETIC! It's a PROP! To get into CHARACTER!!! [So what if he doesn't have ears?! Or even ear-HOLES?? He's managing just fine!!!]

[headlining]

I'm an editor, Mettaton. Technically reviewing my own work IS my job. Honestly, knowing you, you'd just make fun of it.

[Ah, it's a pity that Mettaton can't see Keats right now, because HE'S LAUGHING. Mettaton, never change.]

Character, huh? I'd pay a pretty penny to see if you can make someone believe you're a doctor.

[ex_mettacrusher33]

What sort of low-rate actor do you take me for, honeysuckle? I'm an ARTIST! I know my craft!

On top of that, what sort of FRIEND do you take me for?!

Of course I'll make fun of it. That doesn't mean I won't help in the long run! You can just use a little teasing every once in a while. You take yourself SO SERIOUSLY.

[headlining]

Alright, then, tell me something only a doctor would say.

[HERE HE IS. THE WORST FRIEND IN THE WORLD]

It's my job! Well, technically. I don't think they have mailboxes to send in my drafts over to my office back in my world. Still, constructive criticism I can go for.

[Video | UN: METTATON]

[ex_mettacrusher33]

[The feed flickers on to what looks like a dimly lit hospital supply closet. There's muffled voices and hurried footsteps - obviously the place is still in the middle of pandemoniom.

Mettaton, as promised, is wearing a doctor's jacket with a stethoscope draped around his neck. He looks pained and tired, as if he'd been working for hours straight to no avail.

He sighs. His voice quivers with news that only he can tell.]

Mr. Keats... I'm sorry.

[ex_mettacrusher33]

I couldn't save your sense of humor.

[ex_mettacrusher33]

[He blows a kiss before shutting off the feed again.]

And that changes nothing. Didn't I tell you to live a little?

But oh, alright. You've twisted my arm!! I'll read your drafts for you, honey. No need to thank me!

[headlining]

[ W O W ]

You are the worst doctor I've ever had the pleasure of talking to.

[Not that he's talked to many doctors....hm. Something about that mental statement he just made seems strange. He shakes his head and moves on.]

Fine. When I'm done with them you can read them. Oska will be a nice break from the pandemonium anyways, so I'll get them done.

[ex_mettacrusher33]

Please don't insult Dr. Tonne. He's lived a hard life.

And that's wonderful!! I promise, you'll never regret it!

...and will this be before or after your checkup? [No, he hasn't forgotten. He's not letting Keats bring a virus back to Oska because he thought he was too good to get vaccinated.]

[headlining]

The poor man, all ready to lose the medical degree he doesn't have any day now.

Afterwards? I don't think I'll be done anytime soon. Do you REALLY need to give me a vaccine? If I haven't gotten sick, I won't get sick.

[ex_mettacrusher33]

You wouldn't dare snitch on him!! He has a family to feed!!!!

Also that sounds suspiciously like something someone who's afraid of getting a vaccine would say. It'll be quick, I promise! I won't even stab you in the neck. ;)

[headlining]

[...]

Now that doesn't reassure me in the slightest. Isn't there someone else I can get a vaccine from?

[ex_mettacrusher33]

:)

[headlining]

I wonder if there's a way to completely avoid you for good. I think that's sounding better and better by the minute!

[ex_mettacrusher33]

You'd just come crawling back, honeycakes. :)

That's fine. I'm used to being irresistible. I'll let you have your pride and pretend you didn't suggest that.

[headlining]

Oh, please, I don't think they could pay me a million dollars to have you stab me with a needle.

How many times have you done it before? I can't say I'm very fond of needles in general.

[ex_mettacrusher33]

Oh there's a surprise (not. I'm being sarcastic. You have the aura of a man who grew up with a needle phobia, right next to a distrust of automatic doors and a fear of apple seeds).

And let's just say that by the time I'm finished here, I'll have enough experience to get a goddamn doctorate in stabbing people. 9_9